“When what you do is authentic, organic, and heartfelt, you don’t have to worry about imitators. No on can imitate your HEART.”
#fleurdelisspeaks
I’ve been lucky enough to have opportunities come my way when my cup was already full, so I could pass them along to other people I know and believe in, even if they’re doing the “same thing” as me. Any chance I get, I’m happy to make a connection or bolster someone’s mission, and generally try to remember the quote: A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms (Zen Shin). Typically I’m all spread-the-wealth! but I’ve noticed myself get a few pangs of comparison it is lately, so I’ve been getting curious about this less warm-and-fuzzy reaction.
To operate from a place of scarcity means that you believe if someone else gets some of what you want, there’s less for you to gain. It means feelings of envy and judgement and a whole lot of not enough-ness. It lends itself to the questions of “why should I do this if someone else is already doing it?” and perhaps even, “did that bitch steal my idea?” Both are covers for excuses to keep you from doing the thing the way YOU want to do it. Because of course other people will do something similar – that’s a sign that there’s an interest or market for it! – but nobody will do it like YOU.
What’s funny is that we spend so much time trying to fit in, trying to emulate our idols, trying to keep different parts of ourselves separate from one another like they’re mismatched in some way. Like, if I’m hosting a wellness retreat, there should probably not be anything “unhealthy” like s’mores…. right??
But, it’s just those quirks and funky combinations of interests that give your passions their own unique spin. It’s just those things we try to mute that will let us be heard and stand out. And most importantly, it’s those things that make you YOU – that make you HUMAN – that will jump out and connect with someone else who also loves mint chocolate chip ice cream and labradoodles, and who happens to really need whatever it is you have to offer.
When we feel threatened or envious of someone else’s lifestyle, success, or whatever situation, our go-to is to rationalize it by saying “they’re probably not that happy,” or implying that something negative is going on behind the surface. Which, very well might be the case – so this should be a reminder for us not to compare someone’s highlight reel to our behind-the-scenes, but also – why is that better? Why is someone else being less happy than they appear going to make me feel better? What if we all just did great and found happiness in our own unique ways? Why would some people have to be down in the dumps in order for others to be up in the clouds?
There’s plenty of room in the clouds! Share your seat, share your knowledge, share your contacts. Trust that whatever you create could never be duplicated because YOU could never be duplicated. Trust that the people that need you and resonate with you will find you.
However far you’ve come, there’s probably someone a few steps behind you – how can you be the person for them that you needed when you were in their spot?
How can you support your peers instead of compete with them?
How can you be inspired by their success to get crackin on your own project or idea?
How can a feeling of envy help you identify the things you want for yourself?
And how can you be truly happy for the people who have things you want for yourself?
With everything, it starts with you – this is not about them – and it starts with awareness. Try to limit judgement of yourself; you’re working on being better, not perfect.
Me too!
xo,
m.
Know someone who needs to hear this? I’d love it if you’d send it along!
