I want to talk about something really real this week: depression. I’m no stranger to the unshakable feeling myself, and I want to tell you something if you ever experience it yourself: it’s not your fault.
The thing about being in the wellness/inspiration/coaching arena is that there’s always someone (sometimes it’s me) telling you to change your mindset, to pull up your bootstraps, to take responsibility for your energy, and get out there and make shit happen for yourself. While most of the time I’m completely behind this message, I think it can also make us think, “well, if I’m responsible for how I feel and it’s as simple as changing my mindset, then I’m the one making myself feel like shit and I should be able to do better – i.e. I really suck.”
This blame comes up with other wellness concepts like, “I know I should get more sleep/eat more vegetables/meditate/work out more, but I just can’t seem to do it, what the hell is wrong with me?!” Sometimes it’s just not that simple, and when we tack on these feelings of shame and guilt and beating ourselves up for not being better at this whole wellness thing, well, it only makes us feel worse, no?
Whether your mindset took a nosedive, or you ate grilled cheese every night this week, or you forgot what the inside of a gym/yoga studio looks like, let go of the guilt. Stop telling yourself you suck at taking care of yourself, and realize that there are other factors at play. Take one little step in the right direction. Acknowledge your changing needs. Seek out support from people who won’t tell you to just “buck up” or “get your shit together,” but who will really listen and help you find constructive next steps to take. Try to acknowledge yourself for all the things you do well, all the ways you do take care of yourself, and for how far you’ve come in this world.
I was feeling really low this weekend, and when my bestie helped me realize that it’s not my fault, that it really isn’t as easy as “snap out of it,” well, I snapped out of it. I realized that the weight of that blame was keeping me stuck, so I’m really hoping that this message helps you just the same.
I’d love to hear any ways you’re able to release the blame over in our safe space that is the Lazy Wellness Facebook group, but you can always message me directly if you want to chat more privately. Remember, nobody is perfect. Like, nobody. We’re all just doing our best.
Talk more soon, k?
xo,
m.
